I think its safe to say that we all try our best to be calm mothers. We don’t wake up each morning with the intention to get mad, frustrated or overwhelmed. It just often creeps in as the default setting as life gets a little busy.
Our thoughts create our reality
What we are thinking and perhaps worrying about is where our energy flows and as a result creates our daily reality. You may have heard about the law of attraction and how like attract like. If you are thinking in a certain mindset, chances are your expectations are going to be fulfilled.
Even if we have fleeting thoughts and feelings of gratitude and happiness, which of course we do, these often aren’t quite enough to cast off the negative fear based thoughts that can govern our mindset. Now add to this a little sleep deprivation, an active mind and a to-do list that you can’t quite keep on top of. This is the reality of motherhood for so many of us.
The very essential first step is realising that we can give ourselves permission to make changes now. We don’t have to wait until we feel overwhelmed and depleted.
So how do we change our mindset?
Here are 4 ways to cultivate a healthy mama mindset. One that will support you in bringing more calm & presence and less chaos to your days with your children. From my own experimentation I believe a combination is especially effective and supportive for us busy mums.
1. Set an Intention
An intention sends a clear message to the universe that we are wanting to shift things. It is an conscious intention to express our desires so that we can begin to see them manifest in our daily life. Setting an intention can be as simple as writing some words on a piece of paper, and sticking it to your bathroom mirror or near the kitchen sink. Each time you arrive at this place, read the intention out loud. “I am present with my children, I am supported in my life and my days flow with joy and ease”.
You could also make this a morning ritual – maybe you can set up a little alter in your bedroom, fresh flowers from the garden or a little succulent, candles, a smudge stick/ intense/ essential oils or energetic aura sprays, crystals and things from nature – anything that really speaks to you. Each time you arrive at your alter is an opportunity to check in with yourself. How am I feeling? Where am I feeling stretched? How can I support my myself and mindset?
Notice the resistance you may feel to starting such a practice and also notice the resistance to committing – no judgment, simply being aware of this resistance may be helpful in overcoming it. I have learnt that in life we often resist most what will serve our Soul’s path & evolution the most.
To me being mindful means to be present. To be 100% in the moment as it unfolds. To be in the task in which you are engaged – maybe that is talking to your children, pouring a cup of tea, feeding your baby or maybe you are driving somewhere. To resist the urge to being caught up in the endless lists of things in your mind, the impulse to constantly multi-task such as check your phone while with others or the way your mind wanders to worry & negative thoughts.
A practical exercise that I find so helpful when I feel myself become ungrounded and getting caught up in the busy:
I place my hand on my heart and say “May I be happy and present now”
It’s like a little permission slip, acknowledging where my mind has been and allowing me to move back into the moment.
This is without a doubt my favourite mindset tool and one that will bring your changes on all levels of your life. 20 minutes of daily mediation has the ability to be the equivalent to 3-4 hours sleep. This is pretty significant for mamas who are so often sleep deprived- it is really like a secret weapon to keeping calm amongst the chaos. If you’d like to read a little more about Meditation for Mothers including how I manage to meditate daily with young children, I’ve written about it here.
I’ve created a set of 3 x 3 mini meditations as I love the concept of short bursts of a mindset shift through out the day. Pop your headphones in allow yourself to reset your mindset while you wait for the kettle to boil or while you do the laundry. Even better if you can stop what you are doing for 3 minutes and sit or lay down.
4. Creating a physical space that energetically supports you
Our physical space is very much linked to our spiritual and emotional wellbeing. So how can we create a physical space that supports our emotional wellbeing and our mindset? A great place to begin and my favourite ‘go-to’s for when I’m feeling a little stuck is de-cluttering and scent (essential oils or smudging with sage leaves). I’ll talk about this in a little more detail soon.
I’d love to know what you struggle most with about supporting a healthy mama mindset?
If you are keen to begin to bring a little more mindfulness and meditation to your days, check out my 3 minute meditations for busy mamas.
If you’re looking to make some changes in daily life and would like someone to accompany you to see greater flow and calm, I’d love to help you.
Hi I’m Natalie,
I teach Mums mothering arts + homemaking, so that they can create a home life that deeply nourishes their children while re-igniting their JOY in the monotony of motherhood.